Resident Evil Outbreak Musical :D
by goofybun23
Summary: I was inspired by someone who wrote a Resident Evil Outbreak Musical Fanfic and it was hilarious so I decided to make my own :) It's not as good but thank you for reading mine. Feel free to critique.


**This story is after the initial outbreak and hellfire scenario.**

The group walks out of the hotel and find that they are all out of ammo and their weapons are broken.

David: Where the fuck are we gonna get new weapons? I used up everything I fucking had on that stupid licker boss.

Kevin: I used up all my ammo back at the bar. On all the zombies!

Alyssa: OOOooooooh maybe you should have thought about that before being a complete dumb ass.

Kevin: There's a gun store right here guys.

Yoko: Thank God. Wait...we never go into a gun shop in any of the scenarios.

Alyssa: Fuck I think she's right.

Jim: What happened to our game? Ever since ya'll motherfuckers started dancing you fucked this shit up!

David: Idiots...

Kevin: Shut up and stop complaining. Is having a gun shop really such a bad thing?

Alyssa: Yes Kevin. Yes it is. That means the game is now officially fucked up and we don't know where to go from here.

They continue walking towards the shop.

Kevin: But I am feeling a bit...like I need to get my groove on...

Alyssa: Oh no...Please for the love of God don't-

It's too late. Kevin's body start bopping up and down as the beat to Downtown by Macklemore starts playing.  
He starts thrusting and dances his way into the gun shop. Claire Redfield and the shop owner turn and give them disturbed looks as Kevin is still pelvic thrusting his way over the counter. Claire leaves. Then the gang start to dance behind Kevin.

Kevin: Went into the gun shop said fuck it. Salesman like

Kendo: What the fuck do you want from me?

Kevin: And I'm like honestly just need a gun to shoot zombies. He said

Kendo: I got the one for you follow me.

Kevin: Oooooo it's a Ruger 5.5

And you can bet your ass it'll keep us alive.  
It's a gun and she's stainless steel.  
Don't got no cash but that's one hell of a deal.

Kevin proceeds to steal the gun while Kendo looks pissed off and then gets eaten by a zombie. The scene cuts to the gang dancing down an alley way being chased by zombies but they're still dancing.

Everyone: We're headed downtown running through the alleys

Tip-toeing in the streets but we don't dilly dally.

Cause we running into death valley.

Kevin: This must be a curse from my ex Sally.

Everyone:Dope, that Jim is ill we can ditch him like we did with Will.

Jim looks pissed off and they try to run away from him.

Yoko: Got bullets in my bag, damn it's got a snag.

Kevin looks at Alyssa checking her out and she points a gun to his face.

Kevin: And I got a bad little mama with her gun in my face.  
Shit there's a licker, hunter, I think I hear a flutter.

It's a giant moth why the fuck is there a moth!?  
Everyone: SHIT!

Everybody starts running for their lives. The background music continues. They continue singing.

Everyone: Downtown! Downtown! Downtown!  
Downtown! Downtown! Downtown!  
Will things ever be the same?  
Raccoon City is up in flames.  
DOWNTOWN!  
How the fuck are we all still sane?  
DOWNTOWN!  
If we don't get through this it'll be such a shaaaaaame!  
Hey ey ey ey Hey ey ey ey Hey ey ey ey Hey ey ey ey DOWNTOOOOWN!

They run into Mr. X.

Everyone: We don't want no beef boy!  
Can't you see we trying to live boy?  
Please don't follow us towards DOWNTOWN!

The end of their song. Mr. X looks at them with a stone cold face. The group ends their song with each of them posing as if they were real musical perfomers. Kevin then whispers to the group.

Kevin: Why isn't he doing anything?

Alyssa: We're gonna fucking die.

Mr. X starts blushing and then gives the group a round of appluase.

Alyssa: He...LIKED it?

Kevin: Holy shit I guess he did.

The tyrant keeps clapping and laughing like a child seeing a musical for the first time.

Mr.X: Another one.

Mark: It talks?

Alyssa: Even it talks more than David!

David gives her a sharp glare and she sticks her tongue out at him.

George: It's asking for more?

Cindy: Awwwe he's so cute!

George gives Cindy a disturbed look.

George: My God, woman! That's a killing machine right there. Not something you'd consider "cute".

Cindy pinches George's cheek and kisses him. His face turns bright red.

Cindy: Well some would consider you as my father since you're twice my age, but I still think you're cute.

George looks pissed off again.

Alyssa: Idiots we better think of something quick cause we're- Wait...I'm getting something-

Kevin: Alyssa?

Background music for the song Stay by Lisa Loeb starts playing.  
Alyssa grabs a micropone from out of nowhere. She walks towards Kevin.

Alyssa: You say...I only do what I want to...  
And you say I talk too much all the time so...

And I thought you were simple.  
I mean look at you...

Kevin blinks at her in a shocked way.

And yet I still have these feelings...  
And I want you to know I'm leaving.  
Now that I know you're an idiot.  
But I'll miss you.  
Yeah I'll miss you.

And you say that I'm a bitch too.  
I don't listen to you.  
It's true that I don't.  
Cause I'm off in the distance.  
And I know you've got eyes for someone elsewhere.

I don't understand why I really care.  
Tried to get rid of your smile but it sticks.

So I remind myself that you're a dick.

The song ends and Alyssa takes a bow as everyone but Kevin claps, instead he looks confused.  
The tryant grabs out a handkerchief to wipe the tears from his eyes.

Yoko: YAY! She finally did it! She confessed her feelings!

David: Can I just fucking die now?

Kevin: I don't get it...was that for me?

Alyssa delivers a hard punch to Kevin's face.

Alyssa: You fuckin' moron! I was singing it to you wasn't I?

Kevin: What the hell is wrong with you woman?!

Alyssa: Excuse ME!?

Kevin: Oh sorry! I forgot that you're actually a man!

Alyssa lets out a growl and beats up Kevin.

The tyrant enjoys all of this while the others sneak away...

They then book it to a building.

David: If someone breaks out into another song soon, I'm going to bash their damn skull in.

George: I'm not even going to argue with you there...I'm not sure how much more of this I can take...

Cindy: George...why don't you sing to me like that?

George: Huh?

Cindy blushes and twirls her pony tail.

Cindy: I think it'd be such a turn on if you'd sing your feelings to me...teehee!

George blushes at Cindy.

George: For heavens sakes...We haven't even known each other that long...

Cindy: But you kissed me...

George: No! That was all you!

Cindy: HMPH! But you liked it!

George: Well...I...

George blushes trying to keep his calm demeanor.

Cindy: I'm going to go find Alyssa, so I can vent to her about how stupid all of you men are!

Cindy storms off back the way they came from.

George tries to stop her but then gives up.

George: Why must women be so...difficult?

Yoko: Hey, I'm still here.

She looks at him with an offended look.

George: Shut the fuck up Yoko.

Yoko: Why do you hate me so MUCH? UGH.

Yoko storms off too.

David: This is why I stay single.

Mark: I'm happily married.

George: Well good for you! I was happily married until she just walked right out of my life.

Jim: Why are we all worried about relationships when THERE IS A FUCKING HORDE OF ZOMBIES HERE?

David: I think we fucked up this game too much. The scenarios don't even make sense anymore.

George: Awe well. We're all going to die anyways.

Mark: Damn George...this doesn't sound like you at all...

George leaves to go find Cindy but instead runs into Kevin and Alyssa.  
They are in a hardcore making out session. Kevin is pinning Alyssa down to the ground.

George: EH GAD!

George covers his face and turns away.

Kevin looks up from Alyssa below him.

Kevin: Whoops! Sorry Georgie Porgie!

George: Couldn't you guys have done that in the hotel?

Kevin: What like you and Cindy did?

George: Look she kissed me alright?

Kevin: Sure sure.

George: I'm trying to find her have you guys seen her?

Kevin: No why would I?I'm having such a great time.

Alyssa: Okay okay okay...ENOUGH. We need to get going.

Alyssa pushes Kevin off of her and he complies.

Alyssa: Where's the ditzy bimbo?

George: She's not a bimbo...

Alyssa: Whatever. You have the biggest hard on for her so it's no surprise you'd say that.

Kevin: I mean can you really blame the guy?

Alyssa looks at Kevin and slaps him so hard that his cheek turns bright pink.

Kevin: Oooo but nothing beats a fierce woman.

Kevin smirks at Alyssa and she rolls her eyes.

Alyssa: You called me a man a minute ago...

Kevin: Was just teasing. But you sure hit like a man. How are you so damn strong?

Alyssa: I work out every day.

Kevin: That's hot.

George: Fine if you guys won't help me find her I'll go by myself.

George turns to leave, Kevin and Alyssa get up and follow him. They search for Cindy in the city.

TO BE CONTINUEEEEDDDDDDDD maybe...

**I was inspired to create this story after reading someone's resident evil musical fanfic and it was freaking hilarious. I know mine is not nearly as good but hopefully you found some enjoyment. BTW Kendo is Robert Kendo from the second resident evil. He was the gunshop owner:)**


End file.
